Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down

Help Adoptive Families celebrate those who "get it" and educate those who don’t! Use the button below to send us your Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down.

Thumbs Up to . . . 

Wachovia,

for going the extra mile to help employees build families. The financial services company announced that, as of January 1, it had expanded paid leave to up to 20 days for parents who were adopting a child. See more adoption-friendly companies our readers love at adoptivefamilies.com/topcompanies.

Bella.

This independent film tells a tender story of pregnancy and unplanned adoption. Though the ending struck AF reader Barb Butz as “a bit contrived,” she appreciated the positive depiction of adoption. (Check out what readers have to say about other movies that touch on adoption topics at adoptivefamilies.com/media.)

The Luann comic strip—and its creator Greg Evans,

for its nationally syndicated cartoon. AF reader Mary Anne Castranio says: “It’s a small, fun step toward treating adoption as just another part of life, and the message that both birthparents and adoptive parents are important to a child’s life has a nice ring of truth.” Check out the strip in your local newspaper and at luannsroom.com.

The Children’s Book Committee at Bank Street College.

Each year, they consistently recommend the best children’s books that appeal to our families, including their outstanding “Diversity List” (streetcat.bankstreet.edu/html/diversity.html).

—Susan Caughman

THUMBS UP AND DOWN TO...
Wolfson Children’s Hospital in Jacksonville, Florida.

When AF reader Shelley DeVault was asked to provide documentation to prove that she was indeed her daughter’s mother before the child could be treated, she protested. AF’s calls to hospital officials resulted in confirmation that requiring parents to show adoption certificates was not hospital policy. The officials agreed to retrain admitting personnel, so that, in the future, adoptive parents will not be asked to prove a family connection.

Citizens Financial Group.

The Providence, Rhode Island-based company, which offers nearly $21,000 in adoption benefits, topped the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption’s list of adoption-friendly workplaces. “Citizens took the financial stress out of the adoption equation and helped us bring home our daughter from Ukraine,” say Peter and Diane Sitkowski, of Phoenixville, Pennsylvania.

Heroes.

After months of outraged feedback about offensive adoption terminology, NBC’s Heroes finally got it right. A storyline features a main character’s search for her “real” parents, meaning her birth family. But a recent episode showed Claire talking to her real dad—that is, her adoptive dad—using positive adoption language. “How nice to hear things like, ‘Biology doesn’t make us your real parents, but how much we love you does,’” wrote AF reader Sandra Peffly. We agree.

Stonyfield Farm.

On its yogurt containers, the company asks people to check out its website to “sponsor” a cow, as an educational fundraiser. It was so refreshing to see something better than the usual “adopt-a” slogan. I wish more companies would use this term.  

—Jen Kolesar 

Target.

A photo on display in the stores’ food courts shows a Caucasian mom and an Asian daughter, eating popcorn together and having fun. As we sat under the picture, eating popcorn, my Korean-born daughter said, “Look, mom—they look like us!” She was right. It warmed our hearts. 

—Kelsey Lucardie

Sesame Street,

for spotlighting adoption. After a character adopts a boy from Guatemala, Big Bird explains, in his simple way, that adoption is when a child needs a family and when a family needs a child.

—Elizabeth Bauer

The Children’s Place,

for including a multicultural family in its holiday advertising campaign. A photo of Caucasian parents and an Asian daughter was captioned, “Line up the family in colorful stripes for a fun look.” Way to go, TCP!

—Rhonda Fabbro

Darryl McDaniels of Run DMC.

The rapper, who recently learned that he was adopted, has co-founded the Felix Organization, which sends children without forever families to camp for three weeks in the summer. I printed the lyrics of his song, “Just Like Me,” for my kids’ adoption books. 

—Stephanie Case

Real Simple,

for the article titled “Uncommon Celebrations” in its August issue. It profiled eight families who adopted at the same time and who continue to gather each year to honor their shared histories. Better yet, the piece struck a cheery tone and recognized the importance of an adoption community.

—Beth Samulowitz

Barnes & Noble Bookstores

for always having a wide selection of adoption books on the parenting shelf. Most other bookstores—including other large chains—typically offer just one or two.

—An AF Reader

Babies-R-Us.

After the "expected date" field, their updated registry form now asks, "Are you adopting?" It lets people who access your registry know that you are adopting, and that there may not be an exact "due" date.

—Several AF Readers

Thumbs Down to . . .

Dish Network,

for an ad campaign, in which a boy tries to convince his parents to upgrade their network services. When the dad responds with a silly comment, the child says, I'm so adopted." Although the commercial was intended to be funny, several AF readers though the message was negative, and anything but amusing. As Becky Marruffo asks, "Isn't there a better way to advertise this product?"

The Sims and The Sims 2 computer games.

Players have the option to adopt children, though AF reader Bryn Wittmayer noted that, “the only qualification for adopting seems to be the amount of money in your account.” Even more troubling is the fact that any character who gives birth gets three days leave from work, while characters who adopt can take no time off to care for the child. “Granted, this is a game, not the real world, but it’s a very popular game, and it’s teaching everyone who plays it that adoption is ‘less than’ bio-parenting.”

The King of Queens.

In the CBS sitcom’s series finale, Doug and Carrie are on the verge of divorce, and decide to adopt to save their marriage. They complete the paperwork, and, weeks later, get a referral for a four-day-old girl from China. They race to see who gets there first, only to realize, after they arrive, that Carrie is pregnant. At the end, the couple is “stuck” with the Chinese infant. Several AF readers were disgusted by the show’s trivialization of the realities of adoption (and infertility)—and so were we!

Walt Disney Pictures' Meet the Robinsons,

for its grossly insensitive portrayal of adoption issues. In the animated feature, the central character is a newborn who is left at an orphanage and who spends the next 12 years of his life being rejected by over 100 prospective families. Since the release in March, Adoptive Families has heard from many readers who say their families left the theater outraged and distraught. One parent, Christine, says, "This movie rubs salt into every adoption trauma my kids have."

For more, go to adoptivefamilies.com/media.

Queen Latifah.

The rapper and actress is the latest in a string of famous would-be adopters, according to a March article in USA Today. But her misinformed comments about domestic adoption—she said that birthparents have three years to change their minds—show that she needs to do her research. 

—AF Editors

Parenting magazine,

for its “mom-debate” question, “Should single people be allowed to adopt?” What if it asked, “Should single people be allowed to get pregnant?”

—Sharon Werhel

The Social Security Administration.

The signature line of the form to apply for a Social Security Card asks for your relationship to the person applying, and one box is labeled “Natural or Adoptive Parent.” What a negative thing to come across while still in the joyful first stages of parenthood!

—Amber Morrone

ABC's The Washington Post.

Earlier this year, the paper ran an article describing a handful of child abductions in China, including an April case involving an orphanage director and nine others convicted of selling babies to orphanages.

Without quoting a single adoptive parent or adoption agency, the piece hits on all the classic anti-adoption stereotypes that are painfully familiar. The reporter takes a complex, nuanced set of facts and renders them in the extreme. He portrays China’s adoption system as overwhelmingly corrupt, even though this does not square with China’s reputation for having one of the most ethical adoption systems in the world.

The article even implies that the more than 50,000 Chinese babies who have come to the U.S. since 1992 were adopted by Americans “with dollars in hand,” and it fails to discuss China’s one-child policy. Adoptive families—and all readers—deserve better.

—Eliza Newlin Carney

ABC's Desperate Housewives.

In a recent episode, with an adoption storyline, they use language like "shopping" for a birthmother or "purchasing" a baby, and showed prospective parents bribing a birthmother with gifts—and the birthmother scamming couples out of money. All in all, a pretty miserable portrayal of adoption.

—Marie D.